


If Only

by akatsuki_tsukiyomi (Yumi25Nakashima)



Series: First Blush [19]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Co-workers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, No Strings Attached, Reader-Insert, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28544271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumi25Nakashima/pseuds/akatsuki_tsukiyomi
Summary: "And in the end, we were all just humans drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness."— F. Scott Fitzgerald
Relationships: England (Hetalia)/Reader
Series: First Blush [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089500
Kudos: 3





	If Only

**Author's Note:**

> (F/N) - Reader's First Name  
> (L/N) - Reader's Last Name  
> Arthur Kirkland - England's official human name  
> Francis Bonnefoy - France's official human name

(F/n) stepped out of the master suite, sending a small smile towards the two bodyguards standing right outside the door. The usual clicking of her stilettoes was muffled by the lavish red carpet that lined the corridor. She took confident steps and turned the corner, making her way back into the party hall.

A gentle hand fell on the small of her back, bare as the backless gown she wore offered easy access to her skin. She felt her sudden companion's gloved hand apply gentle pressure on her back as she was led towards the centre of the large room. The hand slid smoothly from her back and up her arm, grasping her hand as she was shifted to a dancing position.

"My lady," Arthur breathed, locking eyes with her. He took the lead, steering her body with his in time to the live orchestra's symphony. "Sir," she curtly replied, giving a nod. He pulled her in closer, almost pressing her against his chest as he let his lips find her ear.

"It is done?" he inquired, his ghost of a whisper commanding (F/n)'s hair to stand on end. She nodded once more and he let out a hum in approval. With ease, the blond managed to lead their dancing bodies closer towards the exit of the ball. There was lively chatter resonating throughout the space, but they knew better than to stay and chat with other posh strangers. The countdown had begun the moment (F/n) exited the CEO's lodging, and taking into count the time it took for her to get back and report to him, Arthur assumed they had ten minutes at the least to get out of the establishment and far enough unscathed. They had to leave as soon but as natural as possible if they wanted to avoid the rain of bullets that would pour down on them once their cover was blown.

They finished their dance and Arthur offered her his arm which she took as they made their way to the large double doors.

"Ah, hold on a moment! Mr Charlton?" a woman's voice called out from behind them. The duo turned to face a luxuriously-dressed older lady, smiling at them with impeccably white teeth as she strutted over. "I was just telling my friend, Mr Darcy, how you played golf with the Prime Minister's secretary? Could you go over that story once more for us? We would _love_ to hear it!"

She let out a laugh and smiled at him, awaiting his response. Arthur's stoic expression morphed into that of a gentlemanly smile as he bowed his head to her. "That I would be most honoured to do. But I'm afraid my tales would have to wait for another day. My wife and I were just leaving."

" _Leaving_? Already? But the party's just begun! Stay a while longer, surely Mrs Charlton would understand?" The lady insisted, shining her pearly white teeth at (F/n) who in turn graced her with a smile of her own.

"We have stayed long enough Lady..." he trailed off as he stared at the stranger in front of him. He had only scanned through the guest list and their files, not expecting to be communicating with a lot of them, and was now at a loss. Who, among the many elites, was she?

"... Marlee," he heard (F/n) faintly say. "Lady Marlee." He finished, taking a step towards her, holding her hand, and placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. His actions made the woman flush, and he sent her another smile as he stepped away. "But do not let our departure ruin the party. May you, and your friends, enjoy the gathering."

Arthur and (F/n) finally stepped out of the ballroom, the large doors closing shut behind them, and they let out a long sigh. They approached the glass doors of the building and in front of it stood security personnel, blocking their exits.

"Good evening sir, ma'am. Are you leaving?" one of them asked politely.

"We were hoping to. Would that be a problem?" Arthur cocked his head to the side to feign confusion.

"Certainly not. We would just have to check your pockets and your purse ma'am. It is according to our policy to check the guests' before they enter and before they leave the venue."

Arthur looked over at (F/n) as she handed one of the female personnel her purse. He watched as the woman opened the clutch and looked inside. She handed it back to (F/n) and nodded. Once Arthur was done being checked, they were let off with a curt, 'have a good evening' and that was that.

The valet came not long after and the duo got into Arthur's car before they sped off.

"They were looking for something," Arthur commented as he kept his eyes on the road. "Why else would you need to inspect guests' belongings before they left? All those who were at the party were well-off enough to host a grander ball than that themselves."

(F/n) glanced over at him, tensed as he drove. "Do you think they've been alerted by then?"

"You gave him the drink, did you not?"

"I did."

"Well, he should've been asleep but apparently he was conscious enough to inform his men that the information was stolen," Arthur replied, tapping a finger against the steering wheel. He had abandoned the gloves once they entered the car and had stuffed them into his coat's pocket.

"If they knew that, why couldn't they have stopped the party right then and there? They allowed us to leave."

"No, a man as respected as that scum would have his reputation ruined if news got out that he was singlehandedly robbed by a woman. He has pride, (L/n). Disrupting the party would've tainted his records. He wanted to keep it subtle." Arthur paused as they arrived at a red light and took that short moment to look at his partner. "All of his workers probably knew how the flash drive looked like. How did they not see it in your bag?"

She sent him a confident smirk. "That's because it wasn't."

Arthur let silence ensue as he waited for her to finish. (F/n) reached for her hair before she gave her locks a firm tug, pulling off the wig she was wearing. She slipped a hand past the elastic of what kept her actual hair in place and pulled out a slim black flash drive. " _Voila_."

The blond man beside her tried to suppress a twitch as she spoke the French word. Nothing like being reminded of his rival, Agent Bonnefoy, to ruin his evening.

"I had to be _ingenious_ to have been able to be assigned to a mission with you, Agent Kirkland. Or at least, that's what Jones said. I think it's because there's a lack of female presence in the agency."

A small smile tugged at Arthur's lips at her humour. She may not have been even poking fun at anything, but he found her way of words interesting enough to smile at. She was intriguing. But she was his colleague. And that was that.

**\---**

Arthur stroked (F/n)'s soft hair as they looked into each other's eyes. They managed to finish two bottles of wine and the after-effects could be seen by the way their cheeks were flushed ever so slightly.

They were not blushing. It was the liquor. (F/n) leaned up, standing on the balls of her feet for her face to reach his, and softly pressed her lips against his. What was the fuss all about? Why did people want to kiss so much? Why did people want to hug so much? Why did people want to be so close to one another?

(F/n) had expected the fireworks to go off behind her eyelids, but no such explosion came; she only felt Arthur's slightly chapped lips pressed against hers, the chilly evening wind caressing every inch of their bodies and the warmth of his hands that were grasping her sides to keep her close.

She had expected the buckling of her knees or the melting of her bones when he tilted his head to further ravish her mouth with his, but she kept her balance; she only smelled the faint fading perfume that clung to Arthur's clothes. She only felt the heat of Arthur's breath on hers, raspy as he kissed her almost with a hint of desperation.

Was he also searching for something as their lips were connected? Did he want to feel the spark? Was he as desperate as her to understand the meaning and feeling of having someone to be intimate with?

They finally pulled away, both equally winded from the (literally) breathtaking kiss. Curious emerald eyes swept over the features of the woman in front of him.

"Soft and warm," he mumbled with an uncharacteristic child-like innocence. He watched as she lifted a hand from its place on his chest to press against her lips.

"I think I get why they say it's addicting," she replied, pressing the pads of her fingers firmly against her lips, trying to achieve the foreign sensation she felt when they had kissed, but to no avail. She liked feeling him kiss her, and she realized then that she couldn't feel that way again unless he repeated the action.

The blond slowly pulled his arms away from her. "Don't you have to do that when you have assignments?"

(F/n) let out an unimpressed chuckle. "I was told that the main way of seduction is depravation. Less is so much more, and I _always_ get what I want without even having to do anything."

A hum left the Englishman's lips as he completely pulled away from her, turning to the side to face the railings of the balcony they were on. The evening breeze continued to blow, playing with the locks of his hair as Arthur stared off into the horizon. It wasn't a mistake to allow her to be assigned with him again. Not only could she finish a mission as swiftly and efficiently as he wanted, she even had useful knowledge to spare.

If only she was as clueless as all the other ladies he had met on his many travels. If only she had not known so much of the cruelness of his world. If only she was naïve. If only she knew much more of the beauty of life. Maybe then, she could open his eyes to it, too. He so badly wanted to feel what happiness and contentment felt like. He so badly wanted to know about the wonders that the world can offer, the wonders he and many others like him were deprived of.

They were agents. Spies. They were trained to control their emotions; to suppress their desires. They were trained to not take anything to heart; it was just a job, nothing personal. They were trained to kill, to deceive, and to exploit the weakness of others. They were not taught to feel, to have connections, and to ever show their true faces. They were taught to take their job seriously because they were the select few that could do what no one else could. They had the honour to protect what was to be protected, and to destroyed what was a threat or of no use. Obedience was ground into their very beings. They were made to serve, not to ask questions.

But sometimes, in the heat of the moment, their curiosity overpowers their sense of obedience. Loneliness is a horrid illness, only ever cured by the warmth and presence of another being. Even if there were no strings attached, Arthur and (F/n) had nothing to lose. They didn't need to take it personally and overthink the situation, they simply had to satiate their curious minds. They simply had to experience what it felt like to be connected to another person, even if it meant using the other for their own satisfaction.

It was that simple. It was that heartless and cruel. They're only in it because they knew they'd benefit. It was that shallow. They didn't care about how the other felt, for it didn't matter to them.

They were too far gone to care about such trifles.

At first glance, they look inseparable; they look madly in love. But unfortunately, they cannot fall in love... for they do not know how.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published in Wattpad on Jun 7, 2018.


End file.
